lizziey: (Default)
[personal profile] lizziey

So, lets start with the unnatural part, shall we? :)

I called on Wednesday morning to see what time they wanted me in for the induction. I was resigned to a pitocin drip, because I had been told by the doctor who was supposed to induce me that it was the only option. They told me to be there at 8am. Well, I made it at 8:30. And that was right on time!!

as the nurses were checking me in, they were about to assign me to the best room, room 5 (one of the two rooms with jacuzzi tubs!). Then they remembered that i was an induction. So they needed to know what kind of induction. I told them what Doctor Goodrich had said, that he couldn't use cervidil, I was "too dilated" for it. And, rightfully so, they didn't want to waste the labor tub on someone who would be required to stay on a monitor the entire time (because hey, if you were a natural birthing momma, wouldnt you be PISSED that someone who COULD NOT USE THE TUB get that room? Seriously! :D) and not be allowed to use that tub.

AND THEN A MIRACLE HAPPENED. I'm serious!! The midwife walked in. SHE was the one on call today, not my OB!! She asked me HOW I wanted to birth, having been the one I saw for my very first appointment. I told her my intention of as natural as I possibly could. She gave me a HUGE hug and told me I was her kind of woman. being called a woman made me feel really good. I am a generally small person (when I am not fat! haha!), and often get called a "girl", not insultingly but because of my size and demeanor (being young, and having a very excitable personality). Being called a woman really gave me a boost.

Then an even bigger miracle happened. She told them to put me in room 5, and she would decide what her choice for the induction method would be. Did I mention she is not a medwife, but really IS a midwife? YES. I explained what Dr. Goodrich had said about not using cervidil because of an apparent risk to Annika since I was already 3cm. Her response? "Well, let me check you. *wink wink*" and so she did. She said to the nurse "her dilation on the outside of the cervix. However, the inside of her cervix I will say is a 1 to 2 cm...I think we should try that cervidil!"

I was beyond happy. A cervidil induction would mean the use of the tub. It meant I could walk around. It meant that i didnt even need an IV!!! And not only that, she said she thought that, being 11 days overdue, that I needed the lowest "dose" of the cervidil she could give me, which was 5 "mikes" (not sure exactly what "mikes" means). She wrote the order, and sent the nurse off to get it while she explained things to me. All she explained was that after she inserted the cervidil, she wanted me on the fetal monitor for 2 hours. But aftre that, I would be a free woman, so to speak. Walking, tub use, it was all available to me (providing I was actually in labor by then!).

Well, the nurse (Pat is her name, btw!) showed up with the cervidil and gave it to the midwife (Judy!). Judy showed it to me, and all I could think was it looked like a piece of a (forgive me!!) crack rock. Baby crack. :) Hell, whatever I can do to avoid a pitocin drip, right? I figure the cervidil can't be too different from the woman who use oils and such in their vaginas to prepare and soften for birth. It achieves the same purpose, really.

I had teh cervidil in maybe 3 minutes before a nice good contraction hit. 5 minutes later, another one. 5 minutes after that, another. That tiny bit of cervidil did the trick! I was in full blown labor after 41 weeks and 4 days of pregnancy. I was ready. My husband and my friend Heather M. were there to start off the labor with me. Labor was kick started by that crack rock at about 10:30am. I stayed on the monitor, not in too much discomfort, until about 1pm. Then I was allowed to go walking around or whatever I wasnted to do. The three of us walked for about 40 minutes. However, with my SPD, that became much more painful than the contractions. I had 10 full contractions while walking, so they were 4 minutes apart.

My birth plan had been read. Not only that, but it was followed!! Aside from the not wishing for the Vit. K and Eye goop, but we'll talk about that later! :) As my birth plan was followed, notice I have only mentioned a single cervical check, before labor. I was now some hours in, and because of the walking, choose to go into the tub. Best move ever. However, they wanted me on the monitor again, but only for 10 minutes. They wanted to make sure the walking with the cervidil had not had an adverse effect. While I was on the monitor, my friends Heather and Hazel switched places, so as Heather could bring her younger daughter to her afternoon Pre-K. So, after maybe the 10 minutes of monitor, Pat decided that Annika looked great, and there was no reason for me to stick in bed. Hazel had filled the tub with nice hot water, and in I went with a book (Realm of the Gods, Tamora Pierce) and no people. I wanted some nice relaxing time alone, though I had a few text messages and a call or two during the beginning time in the tub. But mostly, it was just me, my book, and my body doing what it was meant to. I spent 3 hours like that. At about 4:50, I started crying for no reason at all. (At that time, several other friends had shown up. When I started crying it was Hazel, Heather, my husband, Amyee, and Cassandra keeping me company.) And by then, I was past moaning through contractions, I was yelling. But I had decided I really didn't care about everyone else on the floor. I cared about me and my body, and that was it. If yelling and screaming is what it took to keep me from the drugs, then that is what I would do, damnit!!

ADDED!!! I should have mentioned that the hospital, if you are going natural, has NO RESTRICTIONS AT ALL upon eating. In fact, they handed me the menu for room service, and the phone and told me to order my lunch. I had Chicken Fingers, French Fries, Jello, Milk, hot Tea, and Cream of Mushroom soup. During labor. And the midwife sat and ate lunch with me! hours after she started my labor! :)

Because I didn't know why I was crying, Judy and my friends helped me out of the tub. This would be about 20 minutes of no tub time, and barring the very end, it was the worst part of my labor. This time would also mark the ONLY time during non-birthing or admittance that someones hand made its way up my vagina.

It also marked the time where I thought I wouldn't make it through. I was only 4cm dilated! And already, I was yelling to get through the contractions. However, I was also 90% effaced. My water had not broken, and Judy had NO intention of breaking them (thank you Lord for a REAL midwife! :D). After the time on the monitor, I crawled back into the tub. I didn't think I would make it much longer, probably only to 6cm before I caved, I thought. But at least I would go as far as I could. I would prove to myself what my body could take, even if I couldn't do it all myself.

by 6:30, i was SCREAMING through contractions because, well, THEY HURT. And screaming felt good. Note to Self: trying to swim away from your uterus? Doesn't actually work. It will follow you. But it doesn't hurt to try. :)

6:45 hit and I decided I couldn't take it anymore. I thought I was only about 6-7cm, because, after all, it had only been a little over an hour and a half since I was 4, right?

I caved. I told my husband to get the nurse. I wanted an epidural. So I had to get out of the tub. The hospital rules say that you need an IV drip going, and already have half a bag in before they can do the epidural. I was stunned. It would take forever to get relief! I was screeching by this time. I wasn't getting one contraction, and then a rest. I would get one, have about a 10 second rest, and another would come right away. Then I would have a blissful 2-3 minutes without one, where I was dozing off. Then it would start again.

So the midwife shows up. Says she wants to check me, since I was asking for an epidural. Later she told me she knew it was too late, and that I had made it all the way through.

I will say now, I never once uttered a single swear word during my labor. I didn't want my baby girl coming in the world that way. And only twice did I have the urge to curse, once was the "b word", the single time Pat's tone got mean to me, and I did tell her off slightly, but without cursing. Another time it was the "s word", as in "Oh S***" which somehow became "Oh Jesus, get me through this!" without me even meaning to change it. Maybe God did it for me. :) I know I called on him many many times throughout the end of my labor.

I got out of the tub. Made it almost to the bed before I collapsed into a contraction. The walking had brought another during my usual "break" minutes. I got through it, and climbed into bed, only to be hit immediately with another contraction. The midwife held off on checking me until it subsided. When it did, I gave Pat my hand (for the IV) and Judy my vagina (to check me!). To my utter dismay, I was 8cm. Too far for the epidural. However, NOT too far for a bot of stadol she told me. But I'm not dumb, I know stadol has no effect at this point. But I was horrible. :( I begged for ANYTHING to make it just stop, and make the devil give my body back.

As soon as the IV lock was taped, I grabbed my arm back (with warning), and I curled myself into the side of the bed. I was disappointed in myself, I wanted drugs, and I was only 8cm. The contraction started (literally!) ripping through me, and all of a sudden, I was pushing, though I was lying almost flat on my stomach. I was pushing with my legs clamped shut, and I felt liquiid pour between those legs. I called out that I was pushing, and I thought I was peeing as well. Then my brain registered that as yet, my water had not broken, and maybe it was that. After all, I was 8cm right?

That contraction never left, and I didn't stop pushing. About 5 seconds after that liquid came out, I split my legs. You can see the rest of the story by pressing the play button below. :D Warning: Graphic!! lol

Two pushed. One for her head, one for her shoulders. And with that, Annika Rose entered this world, mad as can be. :) I did not tear, as such. I had a "skidmark", a tiny abrasion, that the midwife gave a single stitch as a precaution only.

Also, the best thing, I guess, since I could not deny the Vit K shot and the Eye stuff...they DID delay them! The shot was given at 55 minutes, and the eyes were done at 59. And better, at this hospital, they don't use ointment and instead they use eye drops. I was quite pleased with this. As pleased as I could be in having to have it done anyway. :)

Do you know what that means? Yes, I wussed out and begged for the drugs, and was willing to get them! But it was because I was in transition! Not because I couldn't get my body through labor, but because I did get my body through! because I DID become whole, and birth my daughter without pain meds. And without Lamaze, or Bradley, or anything. Just me and her. And we did it! I did it. I gave my baby birth. Also, this means I went from 4cm at 5:00pm to having a daughter at 7:00 on the dot. 6 cm in 2 hours. 2cm in about 10 seconds. Yeah, it went fast at the end, LOL! But that is why I thought I had much more time to go and begged for meds. Present for the actual birth (coaches wise) were my husband, my Pastor's wife ("Dobi"), and Hazel.

Maybe it is self centered, but I have never ever been more proud of myself for anything I have ever done. I am simply amazed that I did do it. Because I really didn't prepare myself. All I did was have faith in my body, and let everything else fall away. And though that faith waivered, I made it through. I'm actually shocked, but in a good way. I am so proud. And I am proud of my daughter for getting me through it. It was the thoughts of her, and knowing she was coming into my life that made me do it. Nothing else in the world could compell me to go through something like that again, I think.

And here are a few pictures.

the rest can be found at my myspace.

ETA: lol!!

Annika Rose, born October 3rd 2007, at 7:00pm
14in head



And there you have it. Linked to from [ profile] naturalbirth as well. That is why this is not f-locked.
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